I cannot believe it has been 3.5 years since i have posted anything new to this blog! Feels like yesterday I was blogging about my pregnancy journey with Camryn... now it is time to let you all follow us through our second pregnancy journey with baby #2!
So I am sure it is just close friends and family reading this, so just to warn you now, some things I may post could be a little bit "TMI" so to speak, so you're forewarned now! HaHa
The past 3.5 years having Camryn as an only child have been amazing. Trying at times, but amazing. As soon as I went back to work after maternity leave with her, I started part time, working one night shift per week and every other weekend day shift. So, I have been working two twelve hour shifts per week. Daryl was in school full time and working part time at Ruby Tuesday's through most of that... just a young couple trying to make ends meet! We have loved being parents... I don't know why anyone wouldn't want their own children. Raising a child is the absolute best, and hardest, thing I have ever done and wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING. <3
So let's skip to July 2014. This is the month that I decided to go ahead and quit birth control. We originally wanted to "get pregnant in August/September" so we could have a baby in the spring... in a perfect world, right? Well, we did get pregnant, and found out in early August. I had a positive HPT on Sunday morning... so exciting! WOW! Happened again on try #1,,,too easy?! We told our parents and then decided to keep quiet for a while. Then, the unthinkable... I kept thinking how I didn't feel pregnant. With Camryn, I was pretty ill the first week, just feeling achey and tired and almost 'flu-like'. Didn't feel anything this go round. So come Wednesday, I took another HPT, and it was negative. Thinking it was faulty, I drove to the store with Camryn in tow and bought another box of tests. Got home, took it= NEGATIVE. I panicked. I called Daryl and he came home from work and we went to the doc's office to have blood drawn (that's all they could do at this point). I was told my HCG levels were 9... At 4-5wks pregnant, they should be between 5-240. So I still had some hope, but had to go back and have them drawn in 48hrs to see if they were rising. The next day, I started my period. I lost it. I cried and cried. I just knew... I had a miscarriage. I felt like curling up in a ball and just disappearing... but then I heard a little voice, "Mommy, why are you crying? It's gonna be ok, mommy"... She then gave me a sticker to make my booboo all better <3 Yes, I was hurting, but I had THIS little girl to live for and an amazingly supportive husband. So, I decided to have my blood drawn the next day and it was at 2. The nurse told me it sounded like a chemical pregnancy... where the sperm and egg meet but never actually implant into the uterus. If I would have never taken a test, it would have been like a late period to me. I didn't have any abnormal pains or anything, so my mom told me she will forever believe that it was never a baby. That gives me some comfort. <3
The rest of the fall we decided to wait and let Daryl finish school and just prepare that way. We had great holidays and spent lots of time with family.
It truly just wasn't meant to happen at that time.
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